Newbie stuck at starting gate

[Heather Howey]

Hello listmates,

Have downloaded the free viewer to my friend's machine, installed the server 
program on my home computer, but cannot, from my friend's machine, connect.

Following the instructions on how to find the IP address of the server 
machine, I got two. According to my ISP, one of them is static and one is 
dynamic. But they won't tell me which is which. So, how can I know which one 
to use in the VNC Viewer's dialog box to connect?

Well, maybe that's not so important, because I've tried using both IP 
numbers and neither one works.

I just get error message "unable to connect to host. Connection refused 
(10061)"

Anyone out there who can see what I'm doing wrong?

Grateful for tips,

Heather